Solo-professionals! Where's your road map to success?
In this digital age, the lines between work and life are blurred. We're often juggling many jobs at once, neglecting our friends, our families, and ourselves in the process. We're fighting battles that society never asked us to fight. And while we may not be getting a gold star for our efforts or everyone's approval here on Earth, we do know what feels right. It's time to stop trying so hard to find balance and instead focus on excelling at one thing. After all, it's the quality of your life that really counts in the end.
Many of us feel as though we're living in very uncertain times. The economy's shaky, the stock market's volatile, most jobs are insecure and most people have a really hard time finding satisfaction in their work. No wonder so many of us struggle with what to do with our lives.
But I'm here to tell you that the choices you make have a lot more impact on your well-being than you may realize. You don't have to work a day job for the rest of your life, or fit in a job around your kids' schedules, or lose money on something that isn't fulfilling for you just 'cause it pays the bills.
Here are a few things I've learned that may prove helpful as you seek a more fulfilling path.
1. The more time you spend doing things for yourself, the better it feels. And the more time you spend working to improve your skills and be incredibly good at something, the better it feels. It's scary to think that we might be mediocre at everything we do, but I believe it truly is true. If we never try our best, how can we expect others to?
So get out of the habit of making excuses and just do an extra hour of studying or playing every day. Or find a way to get up extra early and work out before work (my husband swears by driving people insane by doing this). Or wake up an hour early to practice the piano (or the flute or whatever). Get out of that comfort zone and more of that feeling of satisfaction will seep into your life.
2. Accept that you will always have shit to do. Once you've appreciated that fact, you'll be able to get some perspective on how often it really is necessary for you to be doing stuff. There may always be laundry, kids, animals and chores around the house, but if we all don't get crazy, there's nothing wrong with loading up our plates with a few things we love (just not too many things or we'll lose our minds).
3. Find a way to give back. When you teach, it's really hard to differentiate what you're doing from "work." But when you save someone from their troubles, you're saving their life. When you sacrifice for others and make a difference in the life of another person, it truly is a gift. (By the way, I've learned that the key to a good relationship with your spouse or significant other is not just finding out what they like, but being willing to do things that aren't fun and cool for them.)
4. Learn something new every day. So much of our culture tells us that we should be constantly changing jobs and moving on to fresh challenges. That's not true at all. By taking the time to learn something new every day, you're building a path that leads right back to your well-being.
5. Volunteer. Everything you do contributes to the world we live in and that is something we should always strive for. There are too many issues facing society that could be solved by someone stepping up and making a difference for someone else. Fixing a vacant house or donating clothes or food can make a huge difference in people's lives, long before they even realize it.
6. Excelling at one thing is a great way to earn your own paycheck. To do this, you have to take the time to find out where your true talents lie. You may not be able to do this right away, and it may take a while for that dream job to materialize in front of you, but I truly believe that if you take the time to focus on what makes you happy and what doesn't, then eventually those opportunities will come together. And when they do, be sure to embrace them by giving them everything you've got.
7. When someone tells you there's an easier way of doing something, do it their way before arguing with them over how right you are.
8. Find something you love to do and figure out a way to make money doing it.
9. Never let a single day go by without asking yourself what you're doing that makes you happy and why.
10. Just because someone doesn't show the same appreciation for your hard work as you do, doesn't mean that it isn't important to them or that they don't think it's good enough.
11. Before you give someone else advice, make sure you've given it to yourself first.
12. The more you sacrifice for others, the more freedom you'll have to make choices that are good for you.
13. Life is not supposed to be fair, but it is guaranteed to be unpredictable (hellooooo Oprah!). But if we stop resisting the changes life sends our way, then we'll be able to deal with them instead of hurtling right into them and spending days or weeks feeling like crap.
14. Don't let what others think of your abilities or skills dictate who you are and how much success you have in life.
15. There's nothing wrong with having an egotistical streak in you. In fact, it can be quite helpful to your success and happiness.
16. It's okay to want your living space to actually reflect your personality and preferences, even if that means it's a little bit of a mess.
17. Saying no when you don't want to do something is not being selfish, but rather exercising the freedom of choice available only to you.
18. Trusting your gut is not nearly as bad as people claim it is when they're trying to talk you out of doing something they think might be too risky for you or that they're just unwilling to do themselves.
19. Use your closest friends as a sounding board for your ideas and opinions. They may be able to offer clarity or see things in you that you didn't know were there.
20. You are not the only one dealing with what you're dealing with, so really try to understand why someone else might be acting the way they're acting before making snap judgments about them.
21. No matter how difficult your circumstances, try to always find the good in what you're going through and give back to other people who are suffering even more than you are (or will).
22. Do not do stupid stuff .
23.
Conclusion:
24. It's not fair that life is so unfair, but it's not your job to change that.
25. When you're learning a skill, work at it with the same passion and determination you would if you were doing something else that truly mattered.
26. Your own happiness can be found in the way you help others live theirs .
27. Make sure to invite people into your home regularly and just ask them what they want or need out of their living space (you'll find out a lot of things).
28. Look for ways to be good to yourself every day and make sure that your happiness doesn't depend on others or on things outside of yourself (i.e., jobs, relationships, money).