Turn that Yearning Button ON
This is the first post in what will be a series of posts about letting go of your old habits, those that do not serve you or your business any good and often lead to stress and anxiety. So here are 5 tips on how to turn that "yearning" button ON!
1. Recognize the habit for what it is - usually an old coping mechanism stemming from childhood or adolescence - before it gets control over you again.
2. Replace old habits with new ones chosen by you, ones that make sense for where you are in your life right now. Don't force yourself to follow someone else's path, including mine.
3. Recognize the cost of the old habit and ask yourself if it is really worth it.
4. Create a new habit by taking one small step every day in this direction (even when you don't feel like it). Our brain needs that kind of structure to make a change happen, this is how we learn, when we are children we need repetition and training to become an adult who can take on the world! So give your brain what it needs to change.
5. Set yourself up with reminders, either visual or verbal (use your imagination) that will help you remember your new habit every day.
BE CREATIVE - think of ways that will work for YOU and help you succeed. But most importantly think about what is best for you, not what is best for someone else.
BE CONFIDENT - you can do it!
Have a great week!
Marla Silverman, M.A., Expert Career Coach, Business & Life Strategist marlasilverman.com
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Today is day 2 of the 21 Days to Makeover Your Life Challenge that I am doing with Ruth Larson and so far this has been an eye-opener for me in many ways including recognizing old habits like using food as a coping mechanism for things that set me off, and then feeling guilty about overeating. The first day was about Starting with the End in Mind , which included coming up with your vision statement and writing it down in one paragraph. Today's prompt was about turning on the "yearning button" and so far I have been thinking of all the ways that I feel deprived by having such a busy life but then realizing that it's not really deprivation, it's just more of me having to plan to do things in advance. There are lots of things in my life that I can't control, but I know they are coming and so, while I can't get rid of them, I can plan for them. This was a good reminder for me because all my stresses stem from not being able to change something in some way and so instead of fighting against the circumstances, it's best to find a way to deal with it instead. So, what's your yearning button and how do you turn it on?
I'm back! After taking some time out to travel and go to my in-laws, I am ready to blog again. And the first thing I want to talk about is the fact that there are no rules in this 21 Days challenge, other than following each day of the prompts that Ruth Larson gives us, because she wants each of us to be true to ourselves. As a result, my entries can range from a paragraph (yesterday's was just one sentence) or several pages. It all depends on what is going on for me at this moment and also what time I have available. In addition, I have found that there are days when I have no desire to write. Other days, the words fly from my fingertips. So, the key is to find a happy medium that works for you! What works for me might not work for you and vice-versa. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing, just focus on your work and your writing. And if you are worried about whether or not you're "on topic", don't be! Ruth has said over and over again, there is no one way to do this challenge. So just be true to yourself. The results will come.
Today's prompt was to turn on the "yearning" button and that's the phrase that I have been thinking about more than anything else since I started this challenge. A yearning is something that is missing or not fulfilled at the present moment. For example, one of my yearnings has been to get married, which I haven't yet achieved and so that's my yearning. I can see how it would be a good choice of words when starting a blog, as it speaks to people who feel like something is missing from their lives but don't know what it is. However, I also know that I am no longer a slave to my yearnings and neither are you.
How? Because we have the power to decide what is important to us in our lives and to focus on those things. We have control over our choices. And, who knows, maybe there is something out there that we haven't discovered yet that will be a new yearning for us. Sometimes we just need to go to where we want to go, and if that means the things we thought were important when we were younger then that's what will happen.
And of course, for those of us who are married or in committed relationships, certain things are taken for granted and it's easy to forget what it was like not to have these things. But I have found that as my relationship with my husband has grown, I see him in a new light and everything I once thought was important is actually less important than the love that he brings into my life. When you are with the person you love and feel their unconditional love for you, nothing else matters. That's not to say that there isn't work to do or things we want to improve, but all of those things are a part of our lives and not something that can be taken for granted.
I have another yearning, which is to finish the second draft of my novel-in-progress, so that I can start querying agents and publishers. If you know me, or if you've been reading here at all, you know that one of my talents is writing fiction. And I've been writing for as long as I can remember.
Conclusion: Take the time to think about your yearnings because they can help to bring meaning into your life and show you what you want to focus on. Also, they give you a sense of purpose and reason for being. And remember that each day is a new chance to change what isn't working in your life, so focus on those things that are important to you and ignore the rest. Your life is YOUR responsibility as it's YOUR journey. Use it wisely!
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To learn more about me and my work, visit www.marlasilverman.