Please Don't Buy Anything From Me

We're online retailers. And in a world where we compete with thousands of other online retailers, it's difficult to get anyone to pay attention to us. Our products are the same as the people down the street and our prices are more or less competitive.

The only way we can stand out from everyone else is by trying something different, something controversial: offering you an incentive not to buy anything from us! It sounds too good to be true, doesn't it? But that's exactly what this article is about! You see, when you don't buy anything from a retailer....they can't make any money! And without money they eventually go out of business and have no choice but close their doors forever.

Think about it: If you don't buy from us, we won't have any reason to exist. Well, here's your chance to stop us before we become just another name on some forgotten shopping mall wall. Now, you have your own page devoted to the idea of not buying our products! This is real empowerment! You can write it in any way you want. Maybe even include a little statement from me or some other retailer that agrees with you. Or just use this page as a forum for whatever it is that makes you tick! We won't be offended if we never see another single order with our name on it again. We are not out to make money here....we're out to keep you from making money!

We know you can't buy everything on the Internet...and we want to convince you that not only is this going to help us sell some more stuff, but it is going to help our local economy as well! When enough people don't buy from us, we will no longer have any reason to exist. Those jobs will never get created in this economy again...and without those jobs, there are no local shops for the people who need them. Think about all of those people who work in the shops here in town and how much their job depends on your decision not to buy anything from our store.

We want to go out of business. You want us to go out of business. It's a win, win situation!

The only people who will profit from this article are:

- The people who don't want to buy anything from us. Those people will be happy with this article and they will do their part by passing it on to anyone who'll listen! The more people who know about it, the better chance we have of shutting the store down! Everyone wins! Right? - Us. We'll have something to look at while we're staring at our empty shelves for all eternity. We've all seen that before, right? - The local economy as a whole. We're asking you to make a sacrifice. Yes, even though we can't pay your salary, we know that every dollar you don't buy from us is helping someone else. We can see the statistics from all of those other people who work in stores around town...and every time they hear about this article, it's helping to keep their jobs! - The citizens who won't have to listen to our lame excuses for not having anything cool for sale!

So....it's up to you....whether you buy from us or not.

I just want to remind you that most of our products are international and international shipping doesn't begin until we receive payment for your order. However, we do accept credit cards even if they aren't American Express cards...and if you order one of our "no money ever" items, we'll use that as an excuse to ship it internationally.

I'm serious...the "No Money Ever" merchandise is a real thing!

Sincerely,

The Pretty Redhead Who Will Give You Whatever You Ask For

(But Will Only Charge You What She Wants To) [ARTICLE END] [Back to Map]

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Conclusion

This page is meant to entertain and inform. It's also a place for you to discuss the show. But please keep it civil! I will do my best never to remove a post because you've disagreed with it, but I can't always be there to defend myself, so please do me the favor of remaining respectful.

Please give us your two cents on your thoughts about this page or anything else that may come up , and remember, we want this site to help YOU make your own decisions! Other than that, we're just two kids trying to make it big in the world of internet retailing. And we're not real good at this whole retail business thing, but we're working on that too...

Please Don't Buy Anything From Me

Please Don't Buy Anything From Me

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