Keep it Business, Not Personal

If you've found yourself lost in the tangled web of office politics, you may have been struggling with a problem that plagues many people: trying to maintain a personal relationship while on the job.

In an effort to create camaraderie among colleagues, some people may seek to befriend those they work with. But this can often backfire — when tensions arise, it's inevitable that friendly interactions will shift into heated quarrels. If this is happening at your workplace, it's important for you to keep things strictly business — avoid any personal conversations or relationships in order to reduce the chances of hurting feelings and getting caught up in petty arguments.

For this reason, you should avoid discussing your personal life with coworkers. In addition, you should also be careful not to become overly familiar with people. Although it may seem harmless, fraternizing too much can lead to tension and hurt feelings in the office. After all, personal boundaries are important — maintaining an appropriate distance is crucial for avoiding future problems.

While it's important to respect these boundaries at work, this is sometimes easier said than done — especially when friendships are already established outside of the office. It's also common for close friendships formed outside of work — such as those with fellow members of a sports team or club — to bleed into your professional life. If this is the case for you, it's important to be sensitive to the feelings of others. For instance, if you have a close friendship with one of your colleagues, and he or she starts dating someone else in the office, make an effort to avoid prying and asking too many personal questions about your friend's relationship. Not only will this make you come across as a gossip — it may lead other people to question your own relationships with others in the office.

In addition, avoid inviting personal friends to work-related functions such as company parties or holiday gatherings. If you do happen to invite friends from outside the office — be sure to ask permission from management beforehand. While any number of extenuating circumstances may have prevented you from asking permission beforehand — if you end up doing this, it's best to treat the situation as an oversight and apologize candidly.

Another way to make sure that lines of communication are opened up is for you to become an active listener in conversations. Interjecting your opinions into a conversation or trying to take over will likely irritate people and make them feel less comfortable talking with you. If you really want others to open up, try not being so direct — instead of having a one-on-one conversation with someone, join a group conversation and only speak up when others pause. This will give others a chance to participate as well.

The above points will help to ensure that you maintain a professional relationship with coworkers, and avoid becoming too personally involved with others in the office.

-Penn State Office of Career Services