Are You A Victim ?
One day, you're having a good day; the next, your best friend posts a status update on Facebook that basically ends their friendship. Is your friend really still your friend?
Maybe not. It's hard to know when someone is being accusatory or hostile online, and there are so many reasons why people might be trying to hurt you — from jealousy to anger. But if you're being targeted by one of these social media offenders and want to move on, it's important to know what to expect and how to protect yourself in the future.
1. The Jealous One
Everyone in your life probably already knows that you're getting ready to spend the weekend at a beach house with your girls, and now everyone else on social media can find out as well. That's because your friend is jealous and is now posting about how they wish they were you. Your friend may be jealous not only of you, but of others in the photo with you — and everyone can see it. The more friends you have online, the more jealous people you'll have to deal with. For this reason, it's best to just ignore the posts or unfriend them altogether.
2. The One Who Has Gone Too Far
Is your friend writing hurtful posts and sharing private photos, or has he/she stolen them from you? If so, you need to do something. First, take the time to see what's going on. Is it a legitimate issue? Is your friend trying to make a point or just being vindictive? Once you've reached out and have calmed down enough to reason with your friend, try asking them why they're doing it. Sometimes people get carried away with their emotions and don't realize how badly they are hurting someone else. Let them know they shouldn't be posting about private things online and that they're crossing a line. They may not understand, but you have the power to shut them down.
3. The One Who Just Wants Attention
Believe it or not, you've probably already met your future half-sister/half-brother/angry aunt from Facebook. Just because you were the first friend on Facebook doesn't mean you'll be the last one to leave — and that could be a problem for more than one reason. First, your friend might make false accusations about you on social media. Their goal is to create a scene and make strangers feel comfortable enough to make judgment calls. People are going to believe the things they see online, so it's best not to let it get out of control before you speak up.
4. The One Who Is Secretly Scared of You
You might not want to admit it, but you've probably seen this on Facebook as well. Just like the jealous person, the scared one wants other people to believe he/she is in love with you and wants attention from you — all while making you scared of them in the process (even though they're scared of you). It might make you feel a little bit crazy, but remind yourself that you're not. This is a person who is trying to make negative attention and cause trouble for you. Tell people to ignore the posts, or better yet, check them out and block them.
5. The One Who Is Secretly Afraid of Himself
You know what they say: the best way to get revenge on anyone is by not being afraid of him/her in the first place. Sometimes people are trying to scare you because they are frightened of something themselves. While this might seem crazy, that's why it's best to just ignore these types of posts altogether since nothing good will come from responding to them or replying at all.
6. The One Who Has Been Cyberbullied
No one wants to admit they've been bullied, but the truth of the matter is that it happens more often than we think. People even do it to themselves and don't realize it until they look back at what they posted. Do your research to see if this is the case and ask them how you can help, or maybe just talk to them about it. It's also a good idea to check into cyberbullying laws in your state and school district so you're aware of what's going on in your surroundings and if there are any ways you can report it.
7. The One Who Wants To Be Your Enemy
You might have had a falling out with someone who is now threatening your life and saying terrible things to you in an attempt to be mean. Do you think they are really going to kill you? Probably not. But if they're coming after your friends, that's another story. You need to call the cops right away and report what's happening before something worse happens. If you feel like you can stand up for yourself, try talking it out with them first; otherwise, go straight for the cops and let them handle it.
8. The One Who Wants To Be Your Friend Again
Some people make mistakes, apologize, and then want to call it even. While some people don't want to make up or move forward, others are willing to do so. The key is to stand the fact that you don't want to forget what happened and still want them in your life. If you can do that, then you have a chance at getting them back in your life and maybe even turning this into a friendship for the long haul.
9. The One Who Is Just Upset About Something Else
We all have something going on in our lives that might be affecting our moods and causing us to lash out or snap at someone online. You might not realize it, but they can see how you are affected by whatever it is. You can try to help them better understand the situation, but sometimes you just have to let them know this person isn't worth it. Here's how to do that in the right language: "I'm sorry, I don't feel like talking about this and I probably shouldn't have posted this as an example of how I feel. This is only causing me more pain when really what I want you to know is that no one deserves this kind of treatment. Let's talk later."
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Conclusion
It's impossible to keep the people in your life happy all of the time. There are some people who just act crazy and unreasonable, but it's important to be able to handle them without becoming crazy yourself. If you can learn how to do this right, then perhaps you can get back at them with a little bit of their own medicine. At the very least, you can let them take their own medicine and that will help them get over their disagreements with you and other friends faster.
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Are You A Victim ?