Wisdom and the Power of Forgiveness
So often we cling to past hurts and mistakes because we think that somehow our present happiness is tied to them. They afflict us with a sense of guilt for what has been done, or at the very least, they make us feel like something's missing.
But what if there was a way to let go of those past hurts in order to live a life more fulfilled? What if that meant forgiveness? You might be surprised by how much it can do for you — your relationships might improve, you might gain relief from living with regrets and anger. When people hurt you, forgiveness is the opportunity for healing and peace-building.
In this article, we'll discuss how forgiveness can strengthen your relationships and give you more life-giving peace. Read on!
What Is Forgiveness?
If you've been following the ideas of Wayne Dyer, author of The Power of Forgiveness , you may be familiar with the idea of "forgiving is letting go." This idea can be a bit confusing when applied to everyday life. You may have heard that forgiving is letting go, yet you still feel a gnawing in your body or that strange pull-tugging in your heartstrings whenever something triggers an old pain or hurt from the past. You may even be wondering what this "letting go" really is.
Forgiving is defined as "to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake." That doesn't really sound like letting go, does it? You might feel confused about what forgiving is and how you can achieve it. But that's ok! Right now we want you to understand that forgiving is not about condoning someone else's actions, nor does it mean forgetting the hurt altogether. It's actually a lot more liberating than that.
Forgiving is Living with Peace and Harmony
When you forgive someone — when you stop holding on to anger and resentment toward that person — your mind is free. You can feel at peace. When you forgive, you acknowledge that what has happened to you, in this moment, is part of the past. That past and the lessons learned from it are gone forever. You now have a clean slate on which to paint a new picture of yourself, one that is rich in love and compassion for all beings. Letting go of resentment means that you have given up a grip on the past. It's not about forgiving the other person; it's about forgiving yourself for being hurt and giving up your right to harm yourself with a hold on these old resentments.
The concept of forgiveness is so simple, yet there are people who don't understand it or practice it, because they're still holding on to their pain and anger. This is where we need to take a step back and think about this idea from another vantage point. When you forgive someone, you're accepting them for who they are now. This isn't about necessarily liking them anymore; it's also not about forgetting what happened in the past either. It's about letting everything go. It's accepting the fact that you can't control other people, you can only control yourself. If someone understands the concept of forgiveness, they will understand this. In fact, to understand forgiveness is to forgive yourself. So if you want to feel a deeper sense of peace and love for yourself , practice forgiving others first!
When we talk about forgiving those who hurt you in your life, it is absolutely necessary that we work on forgiving ourselves . Many times this resentment is also rooted in our own lack of self-love and understanding. This isn't just some abstract idea; it has very real results on our lives. Anger literally wears people out over time.
Ways To Forgive Yourself
The first step when forgiving yourself is to accept that you made a mistake. The second is to take responsibility for your mistakes. After that, you're ready to move on. Here are some other helpful exercises: Reflect on the circumstances and how your behavior played out. Did you make a decision based on what the other person did? Did you act from fear or insecurity? If so, why do you feel insecure? How much of this situation was about you and not about the person who hurt you? Practice forgiving yourself. If something happens in your life and someone has hurt you, I ask that you consider forgiving yourself as well: "I forgive myself for letting this happen in my life. I don't need to hold on to this anger." Feel the way you do when you think about how you'd feel if someone did that thing to your children. When we think about it from this perspective, we can just imagine how it would feel, and all of a sudden it isn't so hard anymore! Forgive By Thought : "I forgive myself for handling this situation poorly." Forgive By Feeling : "I forgive myself for letting this things happen in my life." Forgive by Action : "While I forgive myself, I also let go of the past." Release the Emotions : When you have released yourself from these feelings, act on the thoughts by doing something creative. Forgive By Feeling : "I forgive myself for letting this situation happen in my life." Feel the way you would feel if someone did that thing to a puppy. Forgive by Action : "While I forgive myself, I also let go of the past." Be Thankful : When you feel good about forgiving yourself, be thankful for what you have learned from these mistakes.
When we forgive someone else, we're not leaving them with the burden of their actions. It's quite different from that. We're letting go of a burden we have been holding onto and giving it to the universe and God through prayer. Instead of dwelling on the past, what happens when we let go of our resentment and become free from it? We breathe deeply and feel a sense of peace. We don't have to hold on to that hurt forever or needlessly, and that in itself is a good feeling. So why not let go?
Forgiving Yourself
In order for you to feel better about yourself, you need to forgive yourself first. Start by asking yourself why you should forgive yourself: Identify the reasons why Forgive Yourself : Overcome feelings of guilt and shame by saying "I forgive myself." Forgive By Feeling : "I forgive myself for letting this happen in my life." Forgive By Thought : "I forgive myself for handling this situation poorly. Forgive By Action : "While I forgive myself, I also let go of the past."
Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing
You may think that you don't know how to forgive others, but what do you know about forgiving yourself? "If a person hasn't forgiven themselves, they can't possibly forgive another." We're all human beings, and we all have forgiving parts. In order to let go of resentment and hurt, first you need to learn how to forgive yourself. You've probably struggled with this before without even realizing it. It's time to face your fears and reach out to the depths within yourself. Ask your higher power for help.
Conclusion
Forgive Others
You can't let go of your anger until you forgive others. That includes forgiving yourself, too. When you forgive someone else, you're not letting them off the hook so they can hurt others, but instead, you've released your own self-made prison.
Even if you feel that forgiveness is impossible to feel towards someone who has hurt or betrayed you, give yourself permission to practice forgiving others on a daily basis. Make it your mantra to forgive those who have hurt or wronged you in some way. Say it out loud and many times throughout the day. "I forgive them." When we forgive ourselves, we also let go of any negativity that may still exist in our hearts and minds.